My arms contracted into claws during the night which many experienced climbers could tell you means your arms wont work very well for at least a week. After a rest day packing me and Hock set off on Golden Gate hoping to get ahead of the French climbing team of excellence by going up just after the rain. At the base as we’re about to set off hauling 2 Krabs drop down within minutes of each other and sound like bullets. Having seen the pictures of Alex Huber and others on the wall we were both without helmets and I had no envy of the people working in Ahfganistan. 

Things were looking good at first. We made it to Hollow Flake which made a great bivvy for 2 wee Cumbrians. The next day things were still looking good. I’d led the Monster offwidth, had hauled and Adam was seconding, we’d managed not to fall so far although the 11b to leave heart ledges was definitely a sandbag. It was only 12.30 and an easy pitch led to El Cap Spire where the plan was to play cards and fix another pitch or 2 in the cool of the evening.

I get a lurgy the day after and although I didn’t know it at the time something called central fatigue or burnout started at this point. Hazel combined with Hanzjorg Aur set off up Golden Gate and many other teams set off up it. A few days later plans are changed and thinking to get Ryan up a route we make El Nino the target. As I wake up that morning I have to stop 3 times on the half km walk to the Lodge due to a trapped nerve in my back (due to receiving a cornice on the head in Scotland) and I could empathize with how frustrated my dad was whilst in the Valley. Ryan forgets his rope so we start a little later than expected. 

Ryan starts off on the Black Dike pitch. I think I hear a helicopter and looking up to see it fly over a black shape starts to get bigger,’ maybe it’s a bird?’ but no it’s a rock fall which splits, some bits just missing Ryan, some hitting the ledge I’m belayed on. Ryan hardly noticed and with the heat starts to take some big falls. He comes down from the pitch saying that ‘you’ll piss it’. We go down. Impressed with Patch’s and Leos efforts as watching Ryan on the first pitch and having spoken with Hans about it makes me think it would be about E76c in the UK. 

The day after was not a vast improvement when belaying Dan McManus on Cosmic Debris he slips whilst clipping a cam and lands on a rocky slab.   

Towards the end I did have some fun days out with Sean Villanueva O’Driscol and Hazel. Sean climbs somewhere beyond the 100% level where psyche and adrenaline come into play, the effort and psyche is contagious and helps show why he’s one of the top big wall free climbers in the world. He outshone my Bear story considerably saying he’d awoke in sleeping bag once and a Bear was in front of his face, he screamed and it left. 

Hazel, light and rested from success on Golden Gate did a great lead on a very tiring blank corner called Book of Hate. The last 5 meters have no holds (in fact many bits if it are lacking in holds) and she looked like Hitgirl running down the corridor at the end of Kickass, moving fast, missing out the last protection totally focused on the climbing. Sean and myself were silent, very impressed. Hock and I managed to devour huge quantities of coffee in the Lodge which made for jittery climbing performances and the other highlight of the trip was a the picture of Hock looking out from the back of Separate Reality, when you zoom in on the eyes it’s a masterpiece.

The dream topping of this trip was a £220 bill from Dollar hirecar 2 weeks after I got back from the UK. I swore I’d never go back to America and spent 3 months dealing with the ‘burnout’ thing you read about in sports science books.

We started the climbing in Northumberland on the Great Wanney where we all did Endless Flight after Northumberland Wall and Great Wall. Next up was Crisis Zone. First go I struck the ledge which unfortunately wasn’t a ledge hung about on it for 5 mins trying to make use of the mono above before a flash pump caught up with me and an undignified reverse ensued to reduce the fall on the stretchy new ropes. 

2nd go involved being still boxed from the 1st go but knowing I didn’t need the mono I put a rattly little tricam in it committed to the next move and ‘bravely grabbed the tat on a weird bolt as my fingers were uncurling. Varians first go back on trad for years and after a warm up burn his next arrived him hands over the top arête but unfortunately the greenery prevented the top out. Next go we both did it and it’s a class ‘ships prow’ climb, Adams fingers were too big to fit in all the monos. And we all finished on Thin Ice a great E4. We drive through the rain and camp in the Arrochar Alps hoping to head to the Cobbler.

Dan did some despo slab on the left of here and as he topped out a good 15m away from the sea a freak wave splashed high and soaked him. He was lucky he’d topped out as it would hurt to have fallen.

On the way back I stared in awe as Dan nearly does a heinous looking Font 8a/+ above his carrymat, finger on the last hold but not quite hanging it long enough.  We eat at Reiff then drive to near Scrabster to get the early ferry. Knackered. Mark reeves had told me the Rackwick bothy was the best bothy in the world and I think he’s right, this place is special. We make a base that eve and play lots of cards and scrabble after a beach walk to test the rock stability of the region.

The next day was a little epic. We hike up with all our ropes and kit to the top of St johns head. The ground was very wet and it was very windy but I was keen to abseil down to assess what would be required for the hard final pitch. As I set off over I looked down at 400m of Seagulls, my 100m static blew horizontal and never dropped from the winds grip. I nearly backed off the abseil but with thoughts of Drummonds and Hills exploits on the wall I managed to MTFU. I looked at the gear and some of the holds on my way down but learned little as I was in trainers and gloves and couldn’t fathom climbing in such conditions. I head up and Adam goes down for a peek. Coming back up he pronounces the pitch easy with youthful enthusiasm. I suggest a decamp to Rora head hoping for shelter or at least better temps. We abb in off dans Dog stakes, I’d left the guide at the Bothy as it looked abit heavy with all the other stuff we had. It was getting late by now but thinking to do a quick classic I had a vague memory of where Mucklehouse Wall went. I set off up the middle of the face and after locking into an undercling thought better of it and reversed (my vague memory ended up being totally wrong). Wanting to be back at the hut we discuss options. Dan says the way out via the shore is dodgy. Thinking about how smug I’d be if I made it round to the top to look down on them jugging up I try anyway. I get close. Having slithered onto the end of a slopey platform as the waves wash out all I have to do is drop down 4 feet and do 3 boulder hops to safety. I watch the wave. Feeling like Papillon a feeling of achievement starts to set in when suddenly the swell picks up hitting my perch and the feeling changes to terror. I look back the way I’ve come and it looks like it’s about to become one with the sea. I manage to only slip in up to my waist once whilst reversing. Feeling like a fool I join the others who inform me that as the smallest member of the team its best if I jug up the rope first to confirm the rope is running well and back it up. We get back to the Bothy knackered.

with plenty of good shakeouts it felt about 8a+. As the gear appeared excellent I was keen to lead it immediately as this is essentially the Salathe Wall crack pitch of the UK.  I abbed in and as evening looked like it was coming in thought better of it and jugged back out again. We were keen for GMB on the Old Man but with the Squalls that had been passing this pitch appeared the better idea.

The day after we arrived there again, I rechecked the gear and warmed up mincing about on the nice E5 wall to gain the gear and the crackline. It’s quite windy but as it was our last day i knew it would give me confidence to come back to try the full link if i led this pitch. The lead went smoothly and as a locked the 2 crimps to reach for the jugs before a hands off and the e4 6b finishing crack my foot popped off. Although I fell on the biggest runout on the pitch I had a good rock 11 and rock 2 at foot height. I was going to pull back on and go to the top as I’d learned what I wanted to about the pitch but Adam said to give it another go. After a good rest huddling from the wind on the belay we pulled the ropes and I set off up. I’d asked Adam about how he did the crux high step about halfway up which I’d felt a little sloppy on. I attempted it his way and promptly fell off that move. Pissed off I came down pulled the rope and after afew minutes climbed it and this time it felt steady. I abbed and stripped it and Adam jugged out near hypothermic for his belay efforts. As i took out the last of the belay and swung out on the Abb rope I felt I was going to die, swinging out 15/20 m with the wind taking me towards Big John I start to jug up the rope as fast as I can feeling dizzy. 

After a rest day things improved dramatically and some highlight climbs included Angel Dust, L’ami Caoutte, La Tombe de Savoie and Cent Patates and we finished the short holiday with a great day doing 10 routes between 7a and 8a with each one being 3 stars. Things like Collonets were good but felt like they’d been made by a hungover routesetter who’d regained some wits in the middle and lost them again at the end. 

Other highlights included watching a stunningly smooth redpoint attempt by a young French person which made me think about the shear quantity of amazing climbers France has had over the decades and the fluid grace associated with them (not to sound weird) and an Austrian 11 year old onsighting a 7b+! At first I thought it must be Aidan (12years old) who climbed Raindogs at Malham earlier in the year, the youngest ascent so far and it never fails to blow me away watching somebody half my size climb a relatively reachy hard route.

Well stoked to go back early next year to get stuck into some of the Biographie wall routes. Think a 5/6 week trip is in order and would recommend anyone able to do so to do the same, the campsite is excellent and very cheap although we did hit it when it was very quiet. As well as my own reasons for going there I’m keen to get Ryan Pasquil to try and finish off 3 degrees of Separation (a Sharma 9a) which he was getting close to afew years ago after he completed another desperate route there Baa Baa Black Sheep (8c+) along with Smitten. I can’t envisage any moves hard enough to stop Ryan and if I were him I’d have 3 months there and do every route on the Biographie wall.