A week in and around Chamonix mid June involved helping out with the Arc'teryx Alpine Academy for a weekend, meeting a lot of sound people, watching some special films, some downhill mountain biking! and some climbing. I'd taken all of my warmest clothes having heard they'd had an abnormal amount of snow for the time of year but stepping off the plane in Geneva the speaker mentioned it was 34 degrees.
    The weekend of the Academy was very busy in the mornings and I was impressed with Tanja Kulkies and Veronika Kraler for not having nervous breakdowns trying to organise who was going where. I helped out with some sport climbing sessions with Mina Leslie-Wujastic and Luka Lindic. Climbing on Gaillon in 30+ temperatures we stuck to the shady sections of the cliff feeling sorry for Nina, Josune and Rikar and the teams who were multi-pitching without reprieve from the sun. The levels of enthusiasm in our group was pretty impressive as coaching and heckling from the trees at the base felt pretty tiring in the heat. Cheers for everyone who came and Isabel and Alisa for looking after us.
   The day after myself and Luka went to find Thai Kickboxing, after getting lost trying to find it in Switzerland a few phone calls later we arrived at the crag which incidentally was back in France. We warmed up on some sport routes on the right and the 7b crack which would be E4 6b in the UK and a classic. My friend Matt Perrier (aka Ug) had said to take 3 friend 5's and 3 friend 6's. We'd managed to borrow 1 cam 4, a 5 and a 6 from Dougal Tavener, a friend whose current appearance is similar to that found in 1970s Yosemite with long blond hair, aviator shades and usually a rollie in mouth he can usually be found with his knew white BMW parked outside the Elevation Bar in Chamonix itself.
   First go I got reasonably close but after a tussle getting stuck with chickenwings trying to squirm over the crux bulge at half height my body gave up. Having seen a picture of Tom Randall with his leg above his head I decided to try the same, second go up before attaining my high point I inverted and with both feet above my head it took a few moment to realise I was no wideboy and couldn't move. Third go got most of me above the crux bulge and I could taste success, this feeling lasted a few minutes but I grew sicker and sicker before the git spat me out. 
  After only 3 goes I felt pretty rinsed but I'd got the 'gist' of how to tackle it. Next go I got stood above the bulge and having thought the upper crack looked easy I had to down climb to retrieve a cam to protect the upper crack and was very thankful to have protection as it felt quite touch and go. Sleep didn't come easy for the next few nights with sores acquired on elbows and shoulders, I left the crag with a good deal of respect for the wideboys as I don't intend to climb any more off widths if I can help it.
   The downhill mountain biking was something I was quite dubious about and with various people wiping out early there was good reason to be cautious. Wrapped up in body armour it felt like being a teenager again, tire burning your friends to try and get them off their bikes. At points on the downhill tracks there would be 2 options shown by a red arrow and a blue with the red offering a trickier option. Mina went the way of the red arrow and asking advice from downhiller extraordinaire Harald on how to do it - he shouted back "you don't". Big thanks to Tanja Kulkies and Veronika Kraler for organising the week. The rest of the week had its good points like meeting Emily and its bad points like hanging out with Jack but generally the holiday made me realise why so many people went and spent a winter in Chamonix and never returned.

  

   The spell of good weather coincided with a cancelled ML assessment and an
extra week off work which led to a varied and great week of climbing. The
quantity of ascents of most of the tricky routes on the Final Judgement Wall on
Cloggy has been unprecedented that I know of and shows how many good climbers
there are operating in North Wales at the moment. Routes which have been getting
ascents apart from the obvious are It will be alright on the Night, Authentic
Desire (3 ascents) and Shaft of a Dead Man, the culprits are Calum Muskett,
George Ullrich and Alex Mason.  
    I’ve wanted to try Margins of the Mind for well over a decade. A John
Redhead route from 1984 its second ascentionist Nick Dixon suggested it may have
been the first E8 in Britain. At a party some years previously Johnny Dawes had
mentioned that it was a ‘feral climb’. Neil ‘the Youth’ Dicksen hit a purple
patch early in 2008 and got close to an onsight going back a few days later to
polish off a groundup, but you know how they always ham things up in films?
Having done a bit of climbing with Neil I thought I’d save a separate report for
him at a later date. On his first effort Neil spent about 4 hours on the climb
and I was intrigued as to what took him so long.

   On the Monday I had 2 top ropes on Rare Lichen on the Gribin Facet with
Alex Mason, working out the moves and the gear before leading it. It’s a great
route, serious but after working out the moves the climb felt ok and the
Longhope was a considerable step up in difficulty. For some of these hard routes
the American grading scale does make a bit more sense 7c R/X for Rare  compared
to 8b R for Longhope gives a better idea of the difference in difficulty. After
a quick top rope on the Gribin Wall Climb I decided to leave it for being fresh
one day after work as I’d enjoy it more, it's probably easier technically than
Rare Lichen but a tiny bit bolder.


    The following day myself and Calum headed up to Cloggy with Ed Booth.
Calum cruises up Authentic Desire for a warm up and Me and Ed second up. A great
route, the more microwires you have the better you can protect it. 

On the top I get racked up and with Ed belaying I set off on unbeknownst
to me one of the hardest unsuccessful ‘efforts’ I’ve given. Shuffling over loose
crap at the start I was struggling to work out where to break through the first
roof which Neil had mentioned was an issue. After some mincing I commit to
slopey backhands and make the pull to ok fingerjugs. After plugging cams into
rattly thin downward pointing flakes I shimmy up to the peg and thread a sling
through it. After going up and right then down and left then up then down then
right then up then down then left then up,(you get the point) eventually I crack
a sequence for the mid crux and reach for a small flake. Making steep moves to
get stood on it I try and place a poor RP and can’t resist shouting Redheads
iconic line down to Ed "you’ve let me down Ed, you’ve !!!!!!! let me down you
!!!!!!!". Ed went quiet but it was meant to lighten the mood.
     I reached the juggy shakeout on the left and realised Neil the Youth had
in fact let me down by saying the wire was good. 2 Rps 'sit' next to each other on
the top of the block with, I bluetacked a big skyhook down and equalised the lot,
thinking the hook to be the best piece. It had taken some time to reach this
point and I grew well acquainted with the next section. Up and Down, up and
down, Sorry Ed. Up and Down. Locking off the sidepull youth used I was still a
mile off the jug and definately felt the route was pushing my comfort zone of hard
moves above shit gear when knackered. On one effort a small pinch offered extra
height gain and spurred on I started to move up but the bugger snapped. Somehow
I stayed on and prevaricating on the shakeout I wondered if I was trying hard
enough. It was a progressively loosing battle from this point really.  I had
felt tantalisingly close to success on a few goes but I was KO’d. Joe Brown had
told me he never did a move he didn't think he could downclimb and I felt kind of
similar on much of this route. Rather than lowering off the gear and going up
Octo then rapping for it I got Calum to throw me a rope (when he’d put his
rescue on facebook I wondered if it may have been better to have fallen and
died) and pretty much hoist me out as it was a swifter affair. Ed Booth who is
taller than me came up saying he couldn’t lank that move either but having
belayed for hours its surprising his body worked at all . Although the effort
had ended in social embarrassment I was actually pretty happy with my effort at
the time and a bit blown away by Neils efforts some years before and Redheads
effort in 1984. I’m sure I would have backed off sooner without having seen Neil
going for it.  At 20.00 Calum was keen for one more route, having poured the
rest of my water over my shaking toes to cool them off I said I was going
down.

After a rest day involving ice cream and chores the Thursday found me back
on the same wall with George Ullrich. After climbing Octo George started to get
racked up for Shaft of a Dead Man. I can’t resist abbing down and looking at the
move which had stopped me. Pulling on with my feet at the high point I couldn’t
believe it. Having thought it to be a solid 6c move, the move appeared easy. I
pulled on again for good measure and did the move again. How could I fail so
near, the move felt easy whereas I was adamant it was 6c on my attempt. I jugged
back up thinking I hadn’t given it 100%. George makes a sterling onsight of
Shaft and having had a pretty derisive kicking on it many years before I was
happy to second it clean still feeling a bit baked from Tuesdays effort. Unhappy
with how easy the move on Margins appeared and being 2 routes from completing
the climbs in John Redheads book One for the Crow we leave the kit and return
the day after. We climb the Hand Traverse to warm up which feels pretty cold and
windy but in a great position. Wondering if I should have a rematch with
Margins, I did. 
    Setting off at 11.00 the face was still in the sun. I climb the first roof
which is about E5 6b. Reaching the peg I go into the mid crux (like the hard bit
on a 7b+/7c) immediately followed by the next few meters ( like the crux of an
E6 6a)to the shakeout jug where I placed the poor wires and put on 2 hooks and a
pap hook beyond for good measure. It’s probably hard E7 6c to reach this point
and the crux for shorties lies beyond. Pulling up into the reach move I crimp a
small thing and hop my left foot high. At this point things are starting to feel
wrong and a few seconds later eyeballing the 2 finger sidepull crimp for my left
hand things not only felt wrong but I began to realise I’d made a mistake. When
looking at this move on the abseil the rope must have been taking most of my
weight, the pap hook falls off and I have to lay it on for the jug which feels
miles away.  The easy move was in fact a pretty grim one. Thankfully the gear
didn’t get tested and expecting George to come up saying all the gear was fine
he concurred with my fears. We guestimated the climbing to be between 7c and 7c+
depending on wether you can reach. It is certainly harder than Sping in the Slate quarries.
   It’s a serious climb which would have been a bad joke at E7. The best
protection on it is the peg but the guide says it’s poor and sawn off. I had
visions of falling, all the gear ripping and the loose flakes the cams were in
coming out to finish off an already battered body but to be honest that was
looking at it with a pessimists eye. I’d recommend taking a few skyhooks and
some bluetak as they are the best bits of protection. The route would have been
properly cutting edge in 1984 and youths ascent in 2008 I rate as one of the
hardest ground up ascents seen in Britain.Cheers to Ed and George……not sure
about Calum.

Having finished work and set off up the M6 to pick Ben up from Preston train station
 the weather was perfect. Alex Mason kept us company until Kendal where he was
 staying with George Ullrich, the car had an holiday atmosphere. After a night in Applebly we
continued North in convoy with George and Alex. Ben was in charge of the music
and by the time we hit the border my ears had had so much hiphop I was imagining
an ejector seat button on my gear stick. Pulling up beneath the Buckle and
stepping out the car I couldn’t believe our luck, it was shorts weather. The
base layers left behind we all set off for Craig Y Banchair/ Tunnel Walls. 
   
The last time I’d climbed here was 13 years ago with Stuart Wood, Nick
Wharton and Dave Birkett. We’d had a good day climbing the extreme rock route
the Risk Business and some other routes further left but rain had stopped play
there the day after. Romantic Reality was a route I’d had on my list that year
and I’d not gotten around to climbing. 
 
The first pitch looked grim, a 6a Whillance pitch it was filthy with moss and lichen,
 I managed to get Ben to lead it. After a few kg of crap coming down he arrived at
the belay and having expected him to come down saying it was too dirty and that
we'd do some of the sport routes to the right. I thought shit I’ve got to try the 2nd pitch
now.

I climbed up to a roof about 20 ft above the belay which thankfully had great pro.
 I pulled up above it and feeling like I’d had too much for lunch had a few moments
 on the ‘slopey holds’ which were a bit dusty before reaching the good gear above.
 I was chuffed to get an awkward hands off rest in the damp corner above to help
 get something back from a flash pump for the brilliant steep moves up right leading
 to a huge sinker jug. The rock beneath the dirt is great and the route is well deserved of
its place in the Extreme Rock book. Its got me well keen to head up to some of the great
 Scottish cliffs and I may even rekindle some keeness for Indian Face but only to tick the
 Extreme Rock book. The teenagers had a great time on The Risk Business. We stayed at
 the CC hut in Roy Bridge and got to Gills Bay for the Ferry over the day after to eventually
 make a base at Rackwick Bay Bothy.

The next 2 days it was COLD. We walked up to deposit the ropes and abbed over.
The ropes blew horizontal and making the mistake of having my gloves off for a few
 minutes meant I had hotaches soon after. Looking up at Ben having trouble negotiating
 through where I’d redirected the rope in the top roof I was concerned I’d have to use his
corpse as a ledge to help clamber back out. We went back up and worked out where
the descent was. The lads did TOMOH being a bit sheltered from the NW winds. The
day after felt even colder and with all of us having a midday pint in Longhope
town shivering by the fire the route did seem a long hope with daydreams of
Southern France becoming a recurring theme. The day after the wind thankfully
dropped and myself and Ben managed to get on the climb. I’d remembered a lot of
the sequences from September and we cleaned the holds and did some links on it.
The pitch definitely felt harder than the year before as I couldn’t do the last
hard move the same way locking a low crimp and getting a jug static so I did it
similar to Macleod with a higher drag/crimp. Having the Meltdown to aim for
previously had meant I was a lot fitter then. Ben made the hard bits look easy
and the easy finger jam bits look hard. We walked back down and got prepped for
the day beyond.

Waking up the next day at 3.30 we both felt pretty baked and my little toe was
 throbbing like in a cartoon. We reached the top before 6.00am and I actually perked
up a bit from the walk. A twitchers paradise a few Peewips were trilling as we found
our gully where lots of fun bumsliding down lilies and avoiding fulmars led us to the
boulder beach. This area feels a little like the Lost World and brings thoughts
of Hitchcocks ‘The Birds’.Lots of Shags made loud rustling noises before
shooting out from beneath boulders, Ben was often shocked by them but I told him
not to worry as I'd dealt with birds like this before.


 After working out where to start I set off up the 1st pitch which
involves climbing like Pacman to avoid the Fulmars. Ben leads through making
short work of the E6 corner beyond. We made pretty good time. The Vile crack was
slimy and felt like some of the green E3s you get in the Lake District, with
some reasonably pap rock beyond. On the 4a traverse left disaster struck. As I
walked along the outside of a ledge system with numerous Fulmars I crouched past
the last one, victory in sight when one‘got me’. I was gutted. The Vice/stomach
truffle was a unique pitch neither me or Ben had done anything quite like it, I
was thankful the Fulmars had disappeared from it as a facefirst puke attack
doesn’t bare thinking about. Ben bombed up the Guillotine and I actually used my
knees to get on it, very poor style. I thought about stomping on it to get rid
of it but I think it will do another few years and wasn’t certain I could manage it.


  
We arrived beneath the final pitch around 15.00. Both of us were feeling
the session the prior day and I was wishing we hadn’t gotten up quite so early.
Having been on the pitch more times than Ben I went up. I was hoping to climb
fast and confidently but it didnt end up that way. 
Climbing the lower wall I placed the cam.5s above off a good fist jam,
they didn’t go in how I’d like and I made a quick reverse to the belay to warm
up and nurse my tired arms. After 15 mins of shivering in the cold I set off. I
reached the crux reach halfway up and couldnt decide whether to campus my foot
on like I did last year or to use a small foothold like Macleod. I tried to
campus it on, and fell off. I pulled back on and do the move with the foothold
and lower down to the belay thinking we were going to have to come back up on
the Tuesday if the weather was any good. I was not looking forward to this as
there were some great looking new routes to try on the rest of the island. After
a half hour rest I managed to lead back up and get through the crux. Climbing
badly I reached the poor shakeout beneath the last hard moves before rejoining
the Arran/Turnbull link. After 10 mins here I spooned my way through the slap to
the double knee bar rest feeling elated. I was pretty confident of doing the top
crack when tired and having told Ben that it'd be E3 6b on the grit I'd of
looked a bit of a knob to fall off it. 
I did however cock up extending one runner and with a heinious amount of
drag I nearly blew the very last move for a jug above the last roof. Ben came up
and together with Adam Long we had some drams of Orkney Whisky to celebrate. The top
pitch is as good as it looks in the pictures and video. Heading down Kath, May
and Dan had joined the Rackwick bothy basecamp party. Bens slotted a short vid
together of our ascent. https://vimeo.com/67457960

   
I was impressed with Dave Maceods ascent as it was fall free and the top
pitch is a slippery devil which when placing loads of kit will feel 8b, to do
similar we would've probably needed another session and a rest day as well as
the fact that me and Ben were swinging leads. Drummond and Hills effort hanging
out in the land of the birds for a week back then left me dumbfounded, a
stunning effort. The crag feels like it belongs to the Fulmars and the less time
spent on it for me the better. 



  
I think the Longhope may well be physically the hardest sea cliff climb
at the moment, in terms of having the hardest pitch with the top pitch being easier if you
like jamming and crimps. It’s not that sustained a climb with the lower
pitches being a good laugh but most of them are possible in a pair of scrambling
boots if you’re capable of climbing the top pitch. Something like the Impossible
Wall that the Belgians did is likely to be another contender for the hardest sea
cliff being super remote and with lots of hard pitches.    

   
The following day I guided Dan Vajzovic up the Original Route on the Old
Man of Hoy which was a great day out. I’d managed to climb around a Fulmar
knowing it would have plenty of puke left for Dan to give him the full Hoy
experience.

George and Alex had a good epic attempting the Turnbull/Arran link of Longhope
 involving a headtorch traverse across one of the green breaks into a gully high on
the face they arrived back at 3 in the morning. 2 days previously Alex had managed
 to scald his leg with boiling water, he had a cold and the weather was poor when they set
off so it was a great effort. They are thinking of calling it the Long Hopeless link.

After 2 rest days I was really stoked to try what I’d naffley dubbed as the Death Corner
project. This ended pitifully low, getting belly height with a ledge where I was going to get
rock shoes on a chock I’d put a sling around moved and I looked at the huge
flake I was on dubiously. The tide was about to block escape back to Rackwick
bothy and the breakfast scenes so we retreated. I think I’d chosen a shit line
to access the corner and further left may be better. We’ll be back. Later that
afternoon I watched Alex and George climb the classic 2 Wee Laddies. Reading a
French Phrasebook I knew very little when they started but felt pretty fluent by
the time they reached the top. I eyed up lots of fantastic knew lines right of
the Mucklehouse Wall area which will be where I head first next visit before
I  climbed and prussocked back out for hopefully the last time.

The final day on the islands we had a great morning on Yesnaby where the quality
 of the rock feels close to grit. Me and Ben soloed a few of the easier classics with
 Ben spotting me as we went before we tied on for Dragonhead, a little gem.
 I'd placed some chalk on some poor holds hoping to red herring Alex but his route
 finding skills were too good and to be honest I would have felt guilty as we all thought
he looked like a teddybear with his beard! The food in Julias café in Stromness was a perfect
finish to our exploits. We did try to get up to the Cobbler on the way back but
in a gap between 2 hills in the cloud and the rain we were lost and wet. I was
thinking of using ip dip dog shit as a method for choosing the way but we went
down and went home. Something to look forward to for next time.

Thanks a lot Macleod for some inspiration and cleaning efforts to mum for giving us a nice cake to take up, Kath n May for the Pancakes, Ben for still climbing with a git and to James the Rackwick Bothy Warden+Trust for taking excellent care of the best bothy in the world.